Who are you

Name: Joanna
AIM: joanna003
Age: 18
Blood Type: B
Birth: 101183
State: NH
Heritage: Italian, German, Irish
Languages: English, Spanish, Japanese (very broken)

Fav. Foods: Special K with red berries, [Little Children's Blood] I get Miko's blood when she is 'nearing death' it is in writing
Disliked Foods: Raw Carrots, Coconut, Peanut Butter (esp. chocolate with peanut butter), Fish, Steak, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Little Debbie/Hostess/Drakes Snack foods, Potato Chips/Doritos among other things
Disliked Drink: Soda
Fav. Drink:Water

Music: Pierrot, LAREINE, New Sodmy, GACKT, Aioria, Malice Mizer, Dir en Grey, Raphael, Kagrra
Art: Oil Painting, Inks, Pencil
Instrument:Guitar, Drums (not very well)
Gothic lotlita Elegant Gothic Lolita. No little hats or white frilly dresses for me. While in Japan I bought a pretty blue and black dress at Atelier-Pierrot. Fear: To die alone and depressed
Bad Habbits Biting my nails, Mood Swings
Books: "Dangerous Angels", "The Stranger", "Lord of the Flies",
"Les Miserables", "The Last Unicorn", "Alice in Wonderland"
Manga/Anime: Alichino, Yami no Matsuei
Movie: Grave of the Fireflies, The Last Unicorn, Sid and Nancy [the best part being when sid walks down the street in his underwear]
Fav. Season: Autum
Fav. Color: Navy Blue


[Everything I ever needed to know I learned from RAPHAEL] Is that how the saying goes? That sounds right to me. Oh, well, I was so sick of looking at that Plastic Tree layout (even though it was up for only a few days) I like this one much better...I've been meaning to put up a Raphael layout but the last time I tried I just spent too much time working on it that I soon hated to look at it. So, it never made the cut...


June-July 24 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001


GARDEN (mikoto's blog)
Asphodel: an ill-natured beauty (yuki's blog)


Luthien's LJ
[yurari + flutter]
inertia's LJ
Love, Death... Avoid It
'Squawk' says the blackbird

Come and find me

New Sodmy
Dir en Grey

Keeper of Tsuzuki's Puppy Imitation
(The Yami no Matsuei Keepers List)

Be nice to the pretty boys...
Ryouko (Alichino)

<< i love girly boys! >>

I had to join, Kamijo was on the mainpage...
-- Yami - Logs --

[Wednesday, August 7, 2002]

L'etranger is no more.
Now that I have a LiveJournal I have no more need for my Pitas account. If you want to visit my LJ please follow the link Are you Sodmy?

Thank you

[homework...?] ishiko @ 01:29 a.m.


[Sunday, August 4, 2002]

Current music: -----

Taking some quizzes out of exteme boredom:

I am Gackt's depressed brown look!
Which Gackt hairstyle are you most like?

yet another crazy Gackt quiz
by mcvarmazi

If hair could talk, yours would be on Oprah, wailing, with a pile of used tissues at the side. Your bangs conceal your wistful and saddened eyes as much as possible, but there's no fooling us... you're sad and everyone knows it. Just fall down in the snow and get your angst over with already.

I did nothing today. I went for a long walk (with Dir en Grey singing from Kisou). It's just too easy to continue to walk in one direction for a prolonged period of time (zoned out) and forget that at some point you have to turn around and walk back home. Of course walking back home ment that I had to walk up hill most of the way. Ah, I didn't mind...I like walking.

[homework...?] ishiko @ 11:04 p.m.


[Saturday, August 3, 2002]

Current music: Lareine - Shiroi Ito

How could I forget!

I hope you all ate some bread! and a happy ONE YEAR birthday to my weblog...which will soon be no more!

[homework...?] ishiko @ 10:17 p.m.


[Saturday, August 3, 2002]

Current music: ------

I just got back from NYC. The trip was about 4-5 hours to get to Long Island. My dad and I were staying with his sister for the weekend. On Friday I went into the city and I enjoyed it alot. I liked the college from what I saw. I'm very nervous/worried about actually going away to college. The city doesn't scare me as much as going away to attend a new school does. So, now I'm home, blah blah blah...I don't feel good...what else is new.
On another note -- I have not had my period yet. I was just thinking about it and so I wrote it. Let me see...the last time I had it was a day or two before I left for Japan. That was on June 15th. (I think) So, it's been a while...oops I guess that means I missed a month...

[homework...?] ishiko @ 07:03 p.m.


[Thursday, August 1, 2002]

Current music: Lareine - Gerbe

I get to take a trip this weekend. A trip to New York City to check out the Fashion Institute of Technology. I'm very nervous about college so I think It'll be good to go down and see the place before I have to move in. Plus I'm looking forward to being away for a bit.

Everyone on the Gackt ML has continued to argue over Gackt having and eating disorder or not but I've come to the conclusion that he just doesn't eat that much and he exercises ALOT. And being Japanese helps too. But he's got muscle and it seems like if he had a serious eating disorder he would lack most of that muscle...(that probably isn't a true fact. I don't know) Okay, enough of that I have to go pack I'm leaving in about an hour.

[homework...?] ishiko @ 08:37 a.m.


[Wednesday, July 31, 2002]

Current music: Shazna - Sweet Angel (apparently that is all my winamp wants to play today)

I'm such a boring person. And I have such boring freinds. And we all live together in a boring town...
It's terrible, I got together with Yuki and Amanda again tonight. Miko was off MT climbing or something -- she never called us back! Damnit Miko! There is only about a month before we all go off to college, why can't you find a fucking moment to spend with us!? Anyway, we got together and had nothing to talk about and nothing to do. We had some short conversations but we just sat around. I don't blame us for being boring I blame the fact that there is nothing to do in our town. We just don't have anywhere to go and thus have nothing to do most of the time. I don't mind it though. I know that I have to leave soon so I enjoy just hanging out even if we don't do much...

[homework...?] ishiko @ 10:31 p.m.


[Wednesday, July 31, 2002]

Current music: Shazna - Sweet Angel

I was reading the messages from the GacktML that I am on and everyone was talking about Gackts weight. I already knew that Gackt had gone on a diet for his most recent commercial (bad Gackt -- no need to diet)and that he only eats one meal a day, but some people had brought up some other information. Someone noticed the marks that are on Gackt's kuckles and thought that they were caused by continually forcing one's finger down their throat...so the topic of conversation became the point of Gackt's possible eating disorder or lack thereof. Of course this conversation I could relate to...just a bit. There was a time when I wasn't eating and there was a time when I would make myself throw up. That mixed with bouts of depression was not a good at all. I never got very thin but I did lose some wieght. I never really noticed though...I didn't care what other people told me becuase I didn't see what other people saw when I looked at myself. I still don't and I'm still pretty stubborn about it. (Even my art teacher noticed --) Before I went to Japan I was only eating one meal a day, dinner. Now, I eat breakfast and dinner. Anyway, where was I going with this. I was just thinking that if I could get away with not eating I'd do it again...I know that sound really really bad but honestly, I hate the way I look and I think that the best to lose weight would be to just stop eating. I don't think about exercise as an option, even though now I'm exerciseing more...This isn't ment to upset anyone I'm just rambling on because it was on my mind. But than again, to get back to the Gackt part of my entry, most japanese men (esp. jrockers) are thin. Just look at Shinya (Dir en Grey). He weighs 95lbs (and is the drummer). They are all very skinny. So, there may be nothing wrong with him at all .(I hope there is not anything wrong) I always worry about other people hurting themselves but i could care less about myself.

[homework...?] ishiko @ 03:51 p.m.


[Monday, July 29, 2002]

Current music: Lareine - Speed of Rise

What was my day like today? I went to bed at 3:30am and woke up at 11-ish. I went online to see if Amanda had emailed me back and what did I find but an email from the New Sodmy ML saying that NS was disbanding. *gasp* I didn't believe it at first but headed over to the BitterSweet BBS to confirm it. *sob* Their last shows are in August on the 26th and 27th. I'll feel better once I know that Kamijo-sama is doing some other project. But for now I'm very much saddened to hear the news.

My mom called me and told me that she set up a tour of FIT on Friday. My dad was planning on taking me down to NY on Thursday. I'll be back Saturday afternoon.

I dyed my hair adain today too. I wasn't sure about the color at first it looked almost too redish. It was supposed to be a light golden blonde but I think now that it's dry it looks a bit more like that (rather than Miko's hair color...that's what it looked like) I just don't think I did a great job dying it. I should have put more on the roots or left it in longer.

Blah blah blah -- feeling kinda blah just no. I don't know. I think I'll stop typing.

[homework...?] ishiko @ 09:35 p.m.


[Monday, July 29, 2002]

Current music: Lareine - Metamorphose

Okay, now I'm in business. I changed the layout like I said I would. It's Raphael (duh). I have not worked all the kinks out of it yet but it is as done as it will get tonight. I'm tired of it and starting to hate it. I need a break from it. Time to read the stuff Yuki put up for me last night...

[homework...?] ishiko @ 01:35 a.m.


[Sunday, July 28, 2002]

Current music: Pierrot - Icaross

I am not pleased with this layout at all. But thinking that the month of July is almost over and I will not be around at the end of the week I may have to change it...now!

I was feeling pretty shitty for the past 2 days but I think that I am recovering from that. I had the house all to myself today so I had time to relax and be alone. I hung up all my indies flyers and jrock posters. They cover almost all my wall space so now there is no where that you can look and not find jrock. I also realized that I have about 4 of every flyer and the majority of them are bands that I would never dream of listening to. (I ran out of tape before I ran out of flyers.)

Here is a little list of all the cds that I purchased in Japan:
Dir en Grey:
Mizerable single box
Lillie Charlotte
Fuyu Tokyo
Blue Romance - First Mini Album
Blue Romance
Kamijo message cd
Malice Mizer:
Beast of Blood
New Sodmy:
Confess to a Love
Mind Soap
Gold Sun and Silver Moon

[homework...?] ishiko @ 06:19 p.m.


[Saturday, July 27, 2002]

Current music: Malice Mizer - Gardenia

I really should start writing up my journal from Japan. I think it would also help if I had a scanner to put up all the photos and other random pictures that I drew while I was there. (Like the 'Kazuki collection' or even that stupid little thing with Gackt 'tight-pants-ing'.)
I'm still feeling pretty crappy too...(I feel like drawing though or sewing.) Maybe that will change my mood?
I just finished watching Grave of the Fireflies. I love that movie and I was a bit supirsed at the amount of Japanese that I could actually understand. I bought it at Narita Airport on the way home so there are no subtitles. I like it better that way.
It's only been a few days but I'm already out of things to write about. So, since there is nothing worth saying I will stop now --

[homework...?] ishiko @ 09:53 p.m.


[Saturday, July 27, 2002]

Current music: silence

I'm feeling really depressed this morning...I never felt like this while in Japan but now that I'm home something has just set me off once again. I don't even know...um maybe I do...nevermind
I'm supposed to be going to Yuki's house for a 'welcome home now go away' party. I don't even feel like going anymore. I will anyway --

[homework...?] ishiko @ 01:17 p.m.


[Friday, July 26, 2002]

Current music: Dir en Grey - Byo Shin

I just wrote a very long entry about things I have been thinking about for the past few days and right before I was going to post it the window froze and I lost everything. I'm really tired and getting quite pissed off but I will attempt to rewrite it all over again.

Thinking about:
Make Up: Since my return from Japan a few days ago I have a sudden urge to wear make up and lots of it. I never wanted to spend money on the stuff before and I never saw the attraction to smearing globs of powder and fondation all over your face. But now I like the idea. Some how if I am able to hide myself under the cover of make up I won't feel so shy about doing things that I would not normally do or acting in a way that I would not normally act. It's not that I would be pretenting to be some one I am not...I'm just too self concious and shy to do the things that I want to do somethimes. I do care about what other people think. I know I try to pretend that I don't but I know I really do. This brings me to the second thing that has been on my mind as of late --

II.) Band:
After seeing the New Sodmy concerts on the 20th and 21st I really became enthusiastic about being in a band. I want to play on a tiny stage with screaming fans all around. It just sounds and looks like so much fun. Yuki and I talked and talked about it in Japan and seeing New Sodmy proform just sealed the deal with wanting to get back together after college.

So, on to something completely random. I found out that I have lost about 6 lbs since I've been in Japan. I don't feel like I've lost any weight but I'm glad that I did. I'm just becoming increasingly paranoid that I will gain it all back. I always worried about food but now I'm checking things a little too much. I'm not not eating I just have to check the nutrional facts on everything before I make a decision on what I'll end up eating. I think this will all go away after I get back to my normal eating schedual.
I can't wait to dye (DIE...) my hair again. I hate seeing dark roots. I prefer my hair to be nice and light coloured, no ugly dark roots. It doesn't look good at all. I was also thinking about lightening my eyebrows too. A few times I was also wondering if I should shave them off and draw them back on again. I decided that would look quite stupid and decided against that all together...I'll just pluck them.

Twelve angels descended from Heaven, each
putting a piece of themselves into those
who would follow them....
Which Angel rests inside you?
Challenge their trial to find out.

[homework...?] ishiko @ 11:36 p.m.


[Thursday, July 25, 2002]

Current music: Gackt - Doomsday

Archived and changed the layout

I have nothing important to mention at the moment but I'm prety much back to my normal schedual. No sign of jet-lag...I do miss Japan though. Tonight I'm getting together with Miko, Amanda and Yuki. So that is that for today...

[homework...?] ishiko @ 02:15 p.m.